Torture on the Cuyahoga, Or the Latest On
What It's Like to Be a Cleveland Sports Fan
'Frankly, I'm not even sure the Cleveland Browns are in the NFL anymore. Brady Quinn appears to have the arm strength of Marcia Brady or maybe, at best, Sally Quinn. Eric Mangini stood on the sidelines yesterday with his hat turned askew as if he were a five-year-old boy who just got kicked off the swings by the mean bully in Denver. The Browns defense is more generous than the Bill and Linda Gates Foundation and the overall strategy couldn't win a game of Chutes and Ladders. The owner is involved in some British soccer team and the team traded the rights to a quarterback who just beat the New England Patriots for the rights to draft a center who doesn't know how to snap in the shotgun. The Browns play Quinn instead of the unpopular Pro Bowl quarterback who sits on the bench. Meanwhile the twin brother of the brash New York Jets coach and the son of an even brasher father is on staff but under the supervision of a guy who thinks the NFL is the CIA. Here's what it's like to be a Cleveland fan: Lebron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers is probably going to New York. In the last year, the Cleveland Indians have traded away two Cy Young Award winners and the second best hitting catcher in baseball. The Browns are more disappointing.'
--Brian Tarcy, co-author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Football, and a Browns' fan, tells the Washington Post what it's really like to be a long-suffering sports fan in this region. It's beginning to feel like a chapter from the Old Testament, folks. You know, the Book of Job, about epic loss and frustration that never ends. We've dealt with this topic earlier, though always in the context of the basketball Cavs, most recently when they were unceremoniously ousted from the playoffs this spring. We also talked about the longer history of Cleveland sports frustrations in this piece three years ago. May we never feel the need to return to this subject again. Fat chance of that.
10 Comments:
Yeah, but if things weren't so tragic, Tarcy wouldn't get to write a great paragraph like that ... Besides, there's still the world-famous Cleveland Orchestra.
It was a classic, wasn't it, Mike? I think he spoke for many of us. And I figured it was good to bring in another perspective, since I've had a go at this topic at least twice, and wasn't sure I had anything new to add to the slowly accumulating misery that comes with being a Cleveland sports fan.
And the museum, Mike Q. As for the Browns, they need, more than anything else, to work on their head games. It's their psychology that does 'em in -- and has for years.
You said it, Kate. And that begins with the dysfunctional ownership. Nice to get a female perspective. And if you're a first-time commenter, welcome.
Let me set the scene for you. We were on vacation in Myrtle Beach and my tween boys are crying. Why, you ask? Because they just found out that the Indians traded a Cy Young winner and 3 of their favorite players--who they had just met--for 4 "prospects" and a Phili cheese steak. I can go on and on about what these Cleveland teams have done to my family, but I keep writing it down and sending it in the form of essays, to newspapers and magazines, only to get turned down. There are too many other tortured Cleveland sports fans sharing their stories, apparently! Well, we may have 9 straight losses, but we fireworks Friday. And the Browns Sunday. Oops...well...let's focus instead on Cleveland orchestra playing Lincoln Center....
uh-oh ... too late ... Shapiro just traded the Orchestra for the Fenway organist.
Kristine, there are so many stories like that, each more heartbreaking than the next. In an ideal world, spectator sports wouldn't matter so much. But of course they do, especially to kids.
There is a glass half full here. Suffering with your losing team can present many teachable moments for parents, if we can somehow get past our own frustrations. Alas, I've never managed to pull that off myself.
I agree John, these are all teachable moments, but my kids are tuning out my Mike Brady lectures!:)
I like Mike Q's comment. I think Shapiro would trade the Orchestra for the Fenway organist's APPRENTICE.
When symphonies get the same adulation and press as does organized sports, that's when the world will be a much better place . . . .
Do you mean to say that sports get more attention than symphonies? Gee, I hadn't noticed that...
Kristine, it's in their job description to try to ignore you (but they're still listening). Hell, they'd get tossed from the kids union if anyone caught them paying close attention to mom's lectures.
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